Feeling strangely contemplative today. Just did the amazing but scary 2 hour drive to Hana and now I’m sitting out on a park bench staring at the ocean.
After trying to explain even to myself why Maui seemed such an ideal place for vacation, I realized why: I needed to get away from everything and be by myself. I’m so used to being around people especially in pharm school that I was extremely burnt out last week. It didn’t help all these other personal events had happened in the meantime. I needed to take care of myself. Strange thing to ask when my chosen profession forces me to take care of others.
I’m still of the mindset that doing stuff like this smacks of selfishness. At the same time, I knew that it was something that I had to do in order to keep my sanity. I love where my life is going—I just need to slow down and enjoy everything else that’s happening.
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3 weeks and counting!
This past summer has gone by relatively slow and peaceful, waiting for school to start, so I’ve been idling it away when I’m not working.
Suddenly, letter after letter after e-mail pours in. Financial aid e-mails and me fighting with them about why I don’t have to send my ex’s tax return (because we broke up and I’m not expecting him to pay for any of it, goddammit). Financial aid offer letter. Orientation letter. Flyers for clubs, fraternities, and more clubs. Invites to hang out with future classmates.
I’ve been flung headlong into this. Suddenly, I don’t feel like I’m 35. I’m suddenly 21 again and dealing with all these questions about joining clubs, extracurricular activities.
Oh yeah, and classes.
After meeting a bunch of my classmates, I’ve already become the gay best friend. Helps that I’m 10+ years older than the majority of my classmates and that I’m not into younger guys. I’m giving hints to people about books. About relationships. About why one shouldn’t date your other classmates (yes, I know there’s a ratio of 3 girls to 1 guy, and if you’re a straight guy, it’s frickin’ sweet. but we’ll be stuck with each other for 4 fucking years and i don’t want the goddamn drama.)
I’m excited. And freaked. Hella freaked. Why does it feel like I’m finally doing what I’ve always wanted to do, and that I wanna start, like, right freaking now?
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So I’m realizing I won’t have much time to blog as much as I used to come the fall, so I’ve decided to create a tumblr blog.
I’ll probably still do stuff in flanflanflan, but I think I want to do something that chronicles the next 4 years of my life as I go to UCSF pharm school (hence the name, http://efipharm13.tumblr.com).
And (as if I really have to say this)—all opinions are my own and in no shape or form reflect any of the opinions nor do they reflect a representation of UCSF, pharmacy school, etc.
It’s just my own opinions, dammit.
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